I got this by e-mail and I thought it was hilarious! (thanks Lana).
For those who are not familiar with my native language, here is the translation:
A letter from the illiterate Abu Atef in Germany:
How are you woman?
How are the kids and how is your mom?
I’m hearing rumors that you are fooling around
When I come home I’m gonna slaughter you
Abu Atef from Germany