17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists…by Michael Moore

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let’s, in the words of Monty Python, ‘always look on the bright side of life!’ There IS some good news from Tuesday’s election.

    Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

  1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.
  2. Bush’s victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.
  3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.
  4. In spite of Bush’s win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn’t worth fighting (51%), and don’t approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don’t try to figure this one out. It’s an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

  1. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won’t be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.
  2. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that’s a start. We’ve got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!
  3. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut — a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.
  4. 88% of Bush’s support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn’t such a long time! If you’re ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.
  5. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won’t have to buy now.
  6. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It’s always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can’t.
  7. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!
  8. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don’t want them to go away.
  9. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday’s elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.
  10. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he’s having this week. It’s all downhill for him from here on out — and, more significantly, he’s just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It’ll be like everyone’s last month in 12th grade — you’ve already made it, so it’s party time! Perhaps he’ll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn’t he? He’s already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.
  11. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn’t ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant — and thus, reckless — that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.
  12. There are nearly 300 million Americans — 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That’s not a landslide — it means we’re almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying — especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!
  13. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That’s more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this — that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals — that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that’s BIG news. Which means, don’t expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it’s better that they don’t. We’ll need the element of surprise in 2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, ‘Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country — it doesn’t even need a president!’" But it needs us. Rest up, I’ll write you again tomorrow.

Yours, Michael Moore MMFlint@aol.com www.michaelmoore.com

12 thoughts on “17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists…by Michael Moore”

  1. 17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists…by Michael Moore

    Dear Friends, Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let’s, in the words of Monty Python, ‘always look on the bright side of life!’ There IS some good news from Tuesday’s election. Here…

  2. Once you go and vote for your own leader, Roba, come and make suggestions and accuse others of ignorance. For now, continue worshipping your own leader and wish him and his successors (his children) the best of luck. George Bush won because his people VOTED for him. Now, since you claim enlightenment, go reform your own country, get rid of dictatorships, and elect your own leader. Salam!

  3. Anonymous, why are you so bitter? I think one of the British newspapers put it best when they asked how could 59 million Americans be so stupid to re-elect Bush.

  4. GWB won on a combination of fear, homophobia, and pro-gun nuts.
    If this is democracy, you can keep it.
    But thanks Natasha for the 17 reasons, I had the blade in my hand. =)

  5. Of course, there are problems that come with democracy, but I will not get into this here. You are way too far from understanding democracy and what comes with it. But,again, I tell you to go create your own democracy. Make it perfect too. Make sure you also consult journalists like Natasha and Hollywood trash like Michael Moore. Make them your role models. Forget about great minds like John Locke, Adam Smith, and J.S. Mill. After all, journalists write their “opinion” about what they see, without deep understanding of historical events or analyzing and thinking critically; and actors mimic what they hear and say what is composed to them by others.
    As for bitterness, I think Arabs are the desparate and frustrated ones. Since neither democracy nor freedom of speech exist in the Middle East, and since criticizing one’s country’s regime could lead to one’s improsenment or even death, America is one power Arabs can criticize.
    That’s it for now..won’t come back to this silly chat..You girls enjoy it!

  6. Whether Bush or Kerry is the president, that really doesn’t matter much. But the thing I like about Bush, is acknowledging God in public in a country where talking about God is no longer tolerated. Do you remember the mother who filed a law suit against her daughter’s school because they put the sign “God Bless America” after sep 11 ? or that Doctor who wants to remove the phrase “Under God” from the pledge of alliegnce? or..or..or… Isn’t it shamefull that all what matters now is to get more groups “out of the closet” and giving them more rights like gay’s rights, and same sex marriages ! God bless you Bush, but that doesnt mean you have no mistakes. If it was for Iraq’s war alone, I would have not voted for him; but other issues matter too. May God bless America (and I hope I am not offending anyone here for the last statement).

  7. Dear Jareer,
    Thank you for taking the time to post your comment. Having a different point of view is very healthy and makes any conversation more interesting, so please feel free to express your opinion anytime here.
    This blog is not meant to impose a certain agenda. It is a free forum where everybody can post their thoughts, scribbles, and views.
    Hope to see more of you around here

  8. It seems that many people are concerned with “two boys kissing”, as Bill Maher describes, more than global warming, 100,000 dead Iraqis, the Patriot Act, big corporations,…etc.
    And “God”,…where in any religious scripture is it mentioned that lying is accepted? And “acknowledging God in public”? Read Mtthew 6:5-8 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

  9. Wow Jameed! I really like that and had forgotten it. It summarizes my view perfectly. I think extremism in any form is a huge problem. Public espousal from public figures can become a problem because it is the start of government and religion mixing, blurring the lines of secularity. Then, I see a head of one “moral majority” group on the news Sunday talking about his religious agenda and what “W” owes the evangelicals. This is very disturbing to me. It is a whole new ballgame.
    Owing “favors” after an election is an age old problem. But when government officials proffer such public commentary on their faith it becomes a problem on a number of fronts. Never does an argument end faster than when someone says “God says…” How can anyone ever suggest otherwise. But as we all well know what one person thinks “God says…” can be far different than what others believe. It is the primary reason religion has no place in government and should be restricted in its influence.

  10. Hello folks,
    Its me again, Jareer
    First, let me thank you Natasha for this forum, and for your welcoming my presence. In fact, I am not much familiar with what’s in this forum, but I like the fact that people are communicating back and forth expressing their thoughts. I would be more satisfied with a live chat to exchange opinions; but this way also has the advantage of giving the chance for gathering thoughts before expressing them. Second, Jameed, I read your response, and I found it irrelevant to the idea I raised. I talked about acknowledging God in public, but you started bashing on Bush, and talking about prayer in public. I have never seen Bush praying in public. In fact, I have seen Gaddafi, Arafat, and Saddam Hussein…you name them and others installing their carpets and praying before the cameras. You are missing the point. I read the scripture you quoted in Mathew 6:5-8 and found that you misquoted or dropped some important facts. “Your father, who sees in secret, will reward you OPENLY-or IN PUBLIC.” You dropped those important words. I think that Bush is rewarded now in public and openly because he prayed in secret and was humbled that a lot of people prayed for him.

  11. Brother Jareer,
    I am honestly not sure who is missing the point here. To be clear on your second point first, I have used the “New Int’l Version” translation of the bible and quoted it as I looked it up on BibleGateway.com. The King James Version, as you mentioned above, says “and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” Now, it is widely accepted that a literal interpretation of any scripture runs the risk of being either incomplete or misleading. The word “pray” in this verse refers to acts of worshipping, and as you know, people worship God by their deeds. The meaning of “prayer” in here can, therefore, be extrapolated to include acts such as giving to charity, leading a modest life…etc. Not withstanding that, praying in GWB’s case can be taken for it’s literary definition. I encourage you to go back and count the number of times the president has used the phrase “I pray” and its derivatives; e.g. “My faith is a very … it’s very personal…I pray for strength. I pray for wisdom. I pray for our troops in harm’s way…” Just because you personally have never seen GWB pray in public does not mean that he does not brag about it on every possible situation in order to cajole the religious right. In this, he is identical to those Jesus referred to in the verse. On the other hand, my response was never meant to draw comparisons between Bush and the Arab leaders you mentioned, and in that you are missing the point, again. Lastly, I am intrigued as to where you read my “bashing” of George. I do not deny that I have bashed, and will most probably continue to do so, Bush, but my above response as far as I read it contains no bashing unless you implicitly acknowledge that “Dubya” is responsible, at least in part, for global warming, 100,000 dead Iraqis,…etc and that he is a liar!

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