Ladies and gentlemen, I live in the dullest place on earth, at least according to the Lonely Planet website:

Around the Gulf, Doha has earned the unenviable reputation of being the dullest place on earth. You will be hard-pressed to find anyone who’ll claim the place is exciting. That said, there’s nothing wrong with Doha – you’re unlikely to get shot or mugged or die from cholera.

AAAAIEEE!!! Take me back home where I belong!